Thy Kingdom Come,Thy Will Be Done
As I was getting ready this morning (disclaimer: this is not a regular thing, as much as I would like for it to be), I had multiple hot tools plugged in—each with long chords that seemed longer than they normally are.
Then again, I haven’t seen a hot tool in a while. Before Peter and I had moved to Japan, I would curl or straighten my hair 1-2x/week and maintain it with layers of dry shampoo to get me through the work week. When we arrived in humidity-ridden Okinawa where we were practically swimming on land, my hot tools went into hibernation for 2.5 years. I remember those initial weeks of trying to do my hair again to feel a sense of normalcy and familiarity in the tropical Pacific, and about four seconds after I stepped outside my hair would say, “nope”, and release themselves from any sort of fixture. It didn’t matter how much firm-hold hairspray I used, ‘twas to no avail. And this isn’t self-deprecating speech; this is my Okinawa hair story. My hot tools enjoyed their sabbath while my hair jumped aboard the all-natural, lucky-to-come-into-contact-with-a-brush express.
All that to say—I’m relearning the art of doing my hair. And I’m relearning the art of doing my hair with a toddler within the vicinity. So that’s why the chords seemed longer than what I remember.
My sweet girl loves to be wherever I am, and I am so blessed by that. So whenever I’m at home getting ready for the day, I have a cute little companion whose interests include: flipping the water in the tub on and off, flushing the toilet multiple times in a row, drumming the toilet paper off the roll, and climbing into the cabinets beneath the sink. As I’m multitasking with my multiple plugged-in hot tools, I keep having to redirect my curious toddler to dada’s cabinets instead of mama’s. I even took a handful of Q-tips and tossed them on the floor in hopeful desperation—and, as you may guess, she was not the slightest bit interested.
So, I surrendered to constant physical redirecting. I’d pick her up from my cabinets, where the hot tools lay above, and place her in front of Peter’s cabinets, or I would pick her up and place her in front of the floor-length mirror she loves in the bedroom. Each time I’d explain to her why mama was moving her and that mama loves her, and I would then take my peace that I may never know if she understood me or not. At this point it’s taken me 35 minutes to do my hair rather than the 10-15 minutes that it could have.
And truthfully, I wasn’t frustrated when I certainly would have been any other day.
Was she doing anything wrong? No. The cabinets beneath both sinks are empty, so I let her play in them and take out what few harmless objects there are. She was just doing what she’s used to doing, and she was doing nothing wrong. It was innocent routine for her.
She just didn’t know what lay above this time… what she couldn’t see. I could see what lay above, as I’m full grown and had a higher vantage point, and I knew that they would hurt her if she had yanked on one of the chords or if one had accidentally fallen. I could see and understand the harm; she could not. So while she kept wandering over to my side of the sink like she’s used to doing, she couldn’t understand why I kept moving her. And it was frustrating for her.
In the gospels, Jesus refers to us as “little flock” and “my sheep”. We are not much different from toddlers! When it comes to understanding, we do not have that ability. For who can understand the ways of the Almighty? We are likened to “sheep” in scripture because while sheep are complex creatures with 360-degree vision (due to their rectangular pupils) believe it or not, they are creatures that cannot be driven; they must be led by a shepherd.
Sheep are actually emotionally intelligent creatures… I learned they can remember up to fifty individuals, both sheep and humans, which means they absolutely know who their shepherd is. They really do recognize and know the sound of his voice, they know how he looks, they know his demeanor and mannerisms, and they follow him. Our very own Shepherd said, “But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers (John 10:2-5 ESV).
Sheep are defenseless, subject to predation; they rely on their shepherd for protection, for the shepherd knows and understands what they do not. He guides them, he directs them, he redirects them, and they respond to his voice.
Are the sheep doing anything wrong when the shepherd redirects them? No. The shepherd is able to perceive danger, and he leads and adjusts his flock accordingly. (Now—if a sheep were to run off in defiance of the shepherd’s redirection and is harmed by the wolf the shepherd was steering him away from, that’s consequential. There are consequences to disobedience… and yet, our Shepherd will still go after the one.)
How many times has God redirected me? And how many times did I think it was because I was doing something wrong? How many times has God redirected you? Perhaps it’s by nothing we have done wrong or incorrectly, but simply the will of God. Perhaps it’s the kindness of God’s protection. He sees what we do not, and abiding in Him, the Holy Spirit will steer us accordingly.
Some of these thoughts may include:
“What have I done wrong?”
“What have I done to deserve this?”
“Why am I all of a sudden unable to do what I have always, without hindrance, done?” “Is there a sin I’ve committed I’m unaware of?”
“Did I commit said sin recently or years ago?”
“Why doesn’t anything I try to do work out for me?”
And the list goes on.
It’s a rabbit hole devised by the enemy—riddled in pride, self-reliance, and lies; don’t go near it. And for some, if not many, of us it's usually: “what have I done?” rather than, “Okay, Lord. I’m paying attention and I’m listening.”
And truthfully, brothers and sisters, we are not that powerful. We tend to give ourselves too much credit in these arenas, and we carry the burden that is not ours to carry. It’s THY Kingdom come, THY will be done. There is nothing we, humans, can do to change or alter the will of God. “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand”(Proverbs 19:21 ESV).
When I had my miscarriage at the end of October last year, the first thing I asked the doctor after he confirmed I had had a miscarriage was, “Was it anything I did?” I couldn’t bear the thought of it actually being anything I did, but I had to know. And this kind, compassionate doctor said, “No. There is nothing you could have done to cause a miscarriage, and nothing you could have done to prevent it. Some women think it’s because they had been drinking alcohol before they had known they were pregnant, some women think it’s because they had eaten sushi, etc., and all of that has been proven wrong. What would have caused a miscarriage would have been intense radiation/chemotherapy treatment or trauma from something like a car accident. There is nothing that you did. It began at implantation. You did nothing wrong.”
I pray that that sets someone free.
Tahlia went back into her Father’s arms not by anything I did or did not do, but because it was her Father’s will. Solely the will and sovereignty of Almighty God. Jesus Christ is completely sovereign over life, and He is completely sovereign over death. The world may call the miscarriage of my daughter “death”, but my sweet girl gained LIFE, and we will join her in LIFE when the Lord wills us to come Home. What a gift.
Is God cruel? Absolutely not. Did He “take my daughter away from me”? No. Was there a time where I thought He was punishing me for something I was not aware of, and I was angry with Him? Yes. Oh, I grieved. Yet, the comforting voice of the Shepherd I recognized. There is nothing I did, there is nothing I could have done, and her days were not written by me. I am not that powerful.
I want to close with this documentation in John that has become dear to my heart: Jesus Heals a Man Born Blind.
As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered,
“It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”
Having said these things, he spit on the ground and made mud with the saliva. Then he anointed the man’s eyes with the mud and said to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which means Sent). So he went and washed and came back seeing.
John 9:1-7 | ESV
This man had done nothing wrong, and neither had his parents. He was born blind “that the works of God might be displayed in him.” The will of God was to use this man to display His glory… and He accomplished His great purpose in and through him. People were added to the Kingdom that day after they had witnessed this man, blind from birth, receive his sight from the Lord. And they have been added day after day since then, now two-thousand years later. And just think, the very first thing this man’s eyes ever looked upon was the face of Jesus Christ.
He is kind, He is good, and He is just. He sees what we do not, He knows what we do not. Like a shepherd who protects his flock from what they cannot perceive, is the Good Shepherd protecting His children.
Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done.
Scripture for Further Study:
● John 9
● Isaiah 55
● Job (entire book)
