The Soul Who Seeks Him
15 minutes. That was the goal.
I can do this.
I leaned my head back against the wall I was sitting against. Determination steeled itself inside of me. The morning sun was pouring through the panes of my screened porch, and the air was thick with humidity. It was one of those Georgia summer mornings where it was getting quite warm out, but I was outside just before the unbearable heat came about. The soft songs of birds chattered about—
Focus!
I closed my eyes…
and waited.
After only about 10 seconds I could feel my mind wandering again. My fingers started twitching, desperate to break this command of stillness.
I squeezed my eyes shut harder - resolve settled inside of me to make it through.
And then…the voice of production jumped in; it couldn’t stand being quiet for much longer:
“This is silly; I have work to do today.”
“It’s getting hot, and uncomfortable.”
“I need to go inside. I'm already behind for the day.”
“Oh gosh! I forgot to do this yesterday…”
I shook my head. I HAD to be getting close to my 15-minute goal. I checked the time.
2 minutes. It had only been 2 minutes. I couldn’t believe it.
Oh, Father…what does this say about me that I cannot even sit still and quiet my mind for more than 2 minutes…help me understand the more behind this…
This “15 minutes” is a part of a new goal I’m practicing:
Get out of bed, go outside, and take 15 minutes out of your day to do…nothing. You can do it during any point of the day; but for me, morning felt best.
No phones, music, distractions, tv, books…nothing.
It’s an intentional practice of being present, focusing your mind, settling your heart, and grounding yourself to the Lord. Overall, it’s retraining your brain to slow down.
To be honest when I sat down for the first time, I was terrified. It was a: “how on earth do I do this” kind of intimidation. How funny is it that when given nothing to do, we don’t know what to do with it.
Think about it though, how often do we do nothing these days? Our society measures success not on slowing down and being present, but instead on how much we can achieve, do, hustle, and perform.
This “performance” culture labels our lack of moving as failure. But the truth of it is, we were not designed to run at such a pace. And even deeper behind this? How much of our “me” centered thinking is developed when we practice this rushed way of living. Notice all those thoughts I had race through my head above? How many times were they focused on me, myself, and I?
All of it. My time, comfort, feelings, it goes on.
Quiet down before God, be prayerful before him. Don’t bother with those who climb the ladder, who elbow their way to the top.
Psalm 37:7
We run ourselves into a deficit, so our empty tank becomes the focus. This is the training mechanism we run on. The enemy wants us to have nothing left for God, and this is exactly how we do it.
…let’s get them so tired and focused on themselves and their comforts that they won’t even WANT to make time with God - let the overwhelming pace of life drain them so it feels like “just another thing” to DO.
Let’s jump to a part of the Bible that shows this “self-focus” well - I’m sure you know it: It begins with a man and a woman in a garden with God.
For Adam and Eve, God created beauty, wonder, joy, and life wrapped into a lovely new world. God was WITH them, and they were with God.
It was good.
And then the serpent came - the first test.
Let’s pull out a few words from the first temptation with Adam and Eve and the serpent in Genesis 3…see if you notice a theme:
…the serpent said to the woman, “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food, and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for getting wisdom, she took some and ate it.”
[Adam] answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
The man said, “The woman you put here with me - she gave me some fruit from a tree, and I ate it.”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
What was Eve focused on? Becoming like God, her desire for more, and gaining wisdom for herself - all which ultimately lead to her blaming her sin on the serpent…not her.
What was Adam focused on? Comfort, going with the flow, fear - which ended with him quickly putting responsibility for his sin on Eve…not himself.
The lesson learned here is this:
Adam and Eve wanted more independence than they wanted connection to God. They wanted freedom from responsibility. They quickly found ways to be on the defense instead of leaning into the safety and good God brings.
For me, THAT was the mental struggle I had in those 2 minutes earlier…I wanted independence - things for ME in the way I wanted to do them - over connection to my Abba. I wanted to blame my busy schedule instead of choosing to set aside 15 minutes to slow down and just be with God.
It’s a game for the enemy: “Distract them with themselves so they will be disconnected from The Father…”
We have to take back our minds. We have to pull back and see the garden God invites us into every day. We can’t go at it alone, we weren’t designed too. Our blueprints say we NEED togetherness - with friends, community, and above all, with God.
Life is busy, and some seasons are even more so. But our true rest comes from the time we spend talking walks with our Father in His garden.
In prayer – even for a couple minutes daily.
In His Word – start with a chapter a day.
In stillness – even if 15 minutes - step away from the rush of every day to ground your heart to Him. Reset. Slow down.
The peace you’re looking for? God carries it in abundance. It won’t make the hard things go away, but it will fill your tank so you can navigate through them with a healthier foundation.
The joy you desire to feel? God longs to show you how to see it more clearly as you spend time with Him. It doesn’t mean things will be easy, but you will have a greater endurance to develop a mindset of gratitude.
The rest you need? God is a refuge for you, through the good, bad, and ugly. He wants to help carry the load. That bit of independence will try to tell you it’s too heavy to share – that you need to carry it, but nothing is too heavy for Him.
Begin small - there is grace every step of the way – and it is our responsibility to retrain our minds to reach for Him.
For today, CHOOSE to connect with God. He’s so excited to see you. He misses you. He wants to hear about your heart. Goodness how He loves you - every single part.
The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.
James 5:7-8
