The Good Portion
She stepped across the threshold and into our home. The baby I thought I would carry into this dwelling was no where in sight and the face who stared back at me was resting on a malnourished little girl with ashen white skin and a frail frame. She immediately smiled upon entry, her sweet little teeth darkened by more signs of neglect. We had been praying for 3 years for the child that now danced about our living room and yet my heart froze realizing the baby I dreamed of was not to be as I had imagined. In that moment I lost my footing as I plunged into deep, cold water…a place I had never been before.
For 3 years I had been boldly walking on water with faith that God would bring the child He had for us into our home…but the moment what I thought would be was no more…I slipped beneath the surface, drowning. I took my eyes off His presence and darkness was all too ready to pull me under to a place where there is no joy, no light, no hope - only stagnant shadows leading to an abyss of emptiness. In this place, this place underwater, it doesn’t matter if you look to the right, the left, forward or back…the dark palette is unchanging and deceivingly vast.
What I thought would be was not actually what God chose for me.
While growing in my desire to serve His kingdom I had unknowingly created an expectation of how serving should look. And almost as quickly as Peter sank in the depths when he took his eyes off Jesus…I too found myself sinking and at a loss for how to return to the place where I once stood.
Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:38-42
Martha wanted to serve and she knew exactly how great of an honor it was to have Jesus in her home, eating at her table, teaching the truth. But as Martha served she began focusing on the task at hand more than the one she desired to serve the most. When Martha does lash out regarding her sister not helping, Jesus lovingly confronts Martha and makes it clear that Mary had chosen the “good portion.” Jesus points out that Martha is not only troubled about her sister, but he hints at her being anxious about many things…things he never reveals because ultimately those things are not what Martha needed. Jesus looked at Martha’s heart and swept away what was not necessary to make way for the one thing that she needed. Jesus was giving Martha permission to let all the rest fall away and simply take hold of him.
Jesus is the good portion.
He is the one necessary thing. It was true for Martha and my friend it is true for us today. And just as Jesus did not leave Martha to drown in her own thoughts, he will not leave you beneath the surface. But we are the ones who must choose him. We are the ones who must draw near to him.
So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him…
Matthew 14:29-31
Peter took his eyes off Christ and in an instant darkness pulled him under. Had Peter kept his focus on Jesus, nothing would have been able to cause him to sink. Nothing. For Jesus is the good portion. He is the one necessary thing. It was true for Peter and my friend it is true for us today. And just as Jesus did not leave Peter to drown in his own fear, he will not leave you beneath the surface. But we are the ones who must choose him. We are the ones who must cry out to him.
Do you know what happens when we cry out to him?
“Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him…”
Jesus will take hold of you. And guess what?
He “will not be taken away from [you].”
No matter the trial you currently face, seen or unseen, choose the good portion. You don’t have to have all of the answers, you don’t need to solve the mystery, you don’t need to find a way to make it work…you need Jesus. Sing to him. Pray to him. Invite him into your day. Sit quietly with a heart ready to receive him. No eloquent prayer is necessary to call upon him…Peter cried out “Lord, save me.” If that was enough then, then it is enough now. Often times we don’t actually know what we need saving from - we only think we know. But Jesus know’s exactly what plagues us and knows what we truly need.
How do I know this? I am no longer underwater…I am not drowning. Each day I get up and care for a 3 year old little girl and while I have not bonded with her completely, I am choosing Christ as my portion. He hasn’t let go of me and I have no intention of taking my eyes off of him. We don’t know how long this little one will be in our home but that mystery I am laying down…for I have my portion and together we are loving a wounded child back to life. Together we are walking on these waters despite the storm raging about.
You can walk on water too, friend. Allow Jesus to wipe away what is not needed so you can clearly see the one thing that is necessary. And then once you have chosen him, allow the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness overflow with a heart teeming with gratefulness as you declare:
